Happy December.

Winter. Long sleeves, baggy clothes, hot tea.. Everything gets perfect<3

Depressedtest.com Results

Breakfast

Only calories are banana , dried fruit, and crackers.. I can't even finish it all I am SOOOOO full!!!!!!

Cut here - - - -

Can you see the scar not even 1mm about the dotted line? Its faded so much since I had stiches there in Feburary.

Fingers crossed for a better life.

Well I've self harmed a lot, but starting to not anymore. I've been trying starving and purging. My doctor gave orders to eat healthy and vegeterian, as well as exercise. I had been up to my start weight from grade 7... 140 fucking pounds! I started crying! Back down to 134lbs tho atm.

The butterfly project.

Well, at least im not giving up..

So today I blew my third day being clean. Literally just now. I was extreamly upset this morning after getting in a fight with my love. I was bawling (which is extreamly rare, I hardly ever cry, even when I want to). I was too upset to even cut.. if I had I would have ended up with stiches. God knows how many attempted recoveries this is now... but I'm getting better! I was going sososososososososo deep and cutting everyday every time I got upset.. now I wait until I'm in a better mood, and IF my wilpower isn't strong enough I do cut. Light scratches, hardly anything compared to before. Enough to have an effect, but not enough to regret it after. I don't even want to cut anymore.. I haven't really felt the need to. Its like smoking - you don't want to, but you're addicted so sometimes temptation wins.